Monday, May 10, 2010

How many law students...

How many law students does it take to start a grill? One? Five? I'm not really sure, I might have been a little too tipsy to remember.

On Friday, I took my international law exam.  (Boy, am I glad I don't have to do that again!)  After the exam, it was time to celebrate my 27th birthday.  I had been planning a grill out for about a week; of course, we were blessed with beautiful weather on my big party day.  It was a balmy 48 degrees and rainy - just perfect for a grill out on my patio.  Okay, maybe not perfect weather, but that wasn't going to stop me.  The night before those who were thinking about coming to the party got fair warning that if the did decide not to come, they were not allowed to blame it on the rain.  
A lot of people joined me for the party! Woot! 

Seriously though, I told people the party would go from 1-4 PM.  Of course, I was late, blaming that on an international law exam and my own failure to check the bus schedule.  Oops!  I definitely missed at least one party-goer because of my lateness (sorry again, Biz!).  But, I did have a couple people wait me out...I forgot that many of my friends are Type A and were of course going to be on time.  Once I made it home, we got the party started.  I made pasta salad and there were plenty of munchies. 

As more people started to arrive, I thought it might be time to start up the grill.  If you read my last post, you know that I don't exactly get along with my grill; I swear it's out to get me!  Well, on Thursday, I tested the grill out and was able to get it to work.  I thought that I had it figured out, so I did not decide to borrow a grill from the neighbors.  Do you see where this is going...

We boiled the brats in beer.  I ran into the rain and set the grill up near the garage so I could stand inside the garage while we grilled outside the garage.  At this point, I was at least halfway through a bottle of Pomelo (yum!) on an empty stomach (bad idea!).  I pulled off the rack on the grill and the cover that dissipates the heat.  I turned on the gas, threw in the match, and Voila!  A working grill completely ready to grill those delicious brats (thanks, Crespo!).  I closed the lid and had some more Pomelo.

I checked the grill a couple minutes later and it was out.   Shoot!  I took off the rack, took off the cover, and tried my trick again.  No dice.  I tried again.  No dice.   And again.  No dice.  At this point, the pressure of no food for guests and my friends staring over my shoulder giving me backseat grill directions makes me a little nervous so I make everyone stand in the back of the garage.  I try one more time (fail again) and figure there must be something else wrong. 

James suggested that we might be out of propane.  I don't think so...the tank feels heavy to me.  Someone else checks...feels heavy to them too!  Apparently, I need to start lifting some free weights soon because James pulled the tank out and quickly declared the tank empty.  Darn!  Now, who wants to take me to the gas station to exchange the propane tank?  Maggie?  Nope; she had half a beer and made the responsible decision not to drive.  Dave took me instead and we quickly replaced the propane tank.  Game on!  Except, not....

A full tank of propane was attached and the grill still wouldn't work.  The rack was off, the cover was off, matches were thrown in and nothing...  Now what???  Someone suggested I use my George Foreman...however, that's broken too!  This must be God sending me a message: Jayme, you are not meant to grill, try baking instead.  I decided to make the best of it and threw the brats in a skillet. This didn't work for some of the guys though, so they went to work on the grill.  Eventually, it started working again and we brought the brats outside again to put them on the grill.  I avoided interacting with the grill and there weren't anymore problems.  How many law students did it take to work my grill?   I have no idea, but it must have been at least 5.  Ridiculous.

The rest of the party went off without a hitch; I think the last party-goers left around 9 PM...a mere 5 hours after the planned party end.  Apparently, it was fun for more than just me.

Here are a few pictures from the party...the blurriness only indicates that we were having fun, not that we had imbibed too many beverages.

And...many thanks to Maggie, Liz and Bornali for the lovely gifts!

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Warning: Corn Holder has Sharp Edges

What's a corn holder you ask?
It is a very dangerous weapon primarily used for holding corn or self-mutilation.

Tonight, I had my friend Maggie over for dinner. First, we spent twenty minutes trying to get the grill to work and praying to the grill gods that we would not singe our eyebrows. We gave up on grilling our brats. Note to self - must buy new grill before grill out party planned for Friday.

We made salad and corn on the cob without incident while we discussed international law. Discussion basically entailed repeating the mantra: International law is easy. I know international law. Self-affirmation works. The eating commenced and the fun began.

This is a corn holder.

While attempting to eat my undercooked corn on the cob (I was too impatient to let it cook the whole time), something crazy happened. Yep, you guessed. I stabbed myself in the face with that sucker. Corn holders should come with a warning label; they are quite dangerous.

To stop the (very little amount of) blood coming from the two new holes in my face, I had to pull the old toilet paper trick that so many men have used throughout time. Maggie could not keep herself from laughing at me [not that I blame her...this was ridiculous].
Also, I'm not sure why I look like a crazy person in this picture...

Corn holders have undergone a lot of innovation since the 1920s.  This device looks more complicated, but perhaps safer considering my circumstances.  There are some crazy corn holder patents out there.  There are also some very expensive corn holders out there; maybe these come with a safety guarantee. I might upgrade to these corn holders because they are too hilarious or these corn holders because they look safer than the ones I own. Whatever happens, I will not be investing in these corn holders or these corn holders.  Though the unicorn corn holders are fun (and witty), I do not need anything more dangerous than the standard corn holder in my life.  How's that for glorious nonsense?

Monday, May 3, 2010

Begin Again

I'm a blogging failure...I tried to start a blog last year. After four updates, I started law school and did not look at my blog again. This time it will be different.

My goal is to share with you, people of the interwebs, one bit of glorious nonsense each week.

My inspiration is Lewis Carroll's The Jabberwocky. "Somehow it seems to fill my head with ideas--only I don't exactly know what they are!" -- Alice
For your reading pleasure...

Today's glorious nonsense...courtesy of the daily squee.
I took my constitutional law exam today. Afterwards, this is how I felt.
Cute Baby Animals - Celebrate the Scyther!
see more